Shino's Bad Day
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Shino is having a bad day. He is itching to relese his pent up energy, but doesn't know how. He comes across someone on his walk, and ends up taking it out on them. Now in! Orochimaru is the winner!
1. Chapter 1

Shino is having a bad day. He is itching to relese his pent up energy, but doesn't know how. He comes across someone on his walk, and ends up taking it out on them. Who is it you will deciide. Pick anybody you want, I will not be offended if you pick me. Majority will win, but a tie will be dealt with. I will handle any special requests, just revirew this and tell me any request. The poll will close on October 15. I also willl not be angry at anyone who pick me as Shino's "victim". I already think that it would be funny if I won the poll and had to face the fury and wrath of shino's destruction bugs. Alright, have fun, and be sure to vote!

Baby Cougar

PS: Remember, it's the vote in the POLL that counts, not votes left in the reviews. thanx!

SO far...

2 votes for orochimaru

2 votes for Kiba

1 vote for me

1 vote for shibi

1 vote for sakura

1 vote for hinata

1 vote for naruto

2 votes for sasuke

**I have bumped up the deadline to Nov. 1!**


	2. Shino's Bad Day

**Alright folks! Here you have it! These are the poll results, and I hope you enjoy this story.**

**Orochimaru-9**

**Sasuke-8**

**Kiba-5**

**Naruto-5**

**Me-5**

**Hinata-4**

**Ino-4**

**Shikamaru-3**

**Temari-2**

**Rock Lee-2**

**Shibi-1**

**Konahamaru-1**

**Gaara-1**

**Kankouro-1**

**Sakura-1**

**Kitah-1**

Shino woke up that morning from a particularly bad dream. Unfortunately, he could not remember it. Grumbling, he got out of bed, but Kami was against him this morning. When he planted his feet on the floor, a stray grasshopper happened to be on the floor in that very spot. Shino winced when he heard the sickening crunch.

Getting out of bed, he picked up the tiny corpse and set it on the window sill; he was going to bury it after he got dressed.

He finally slipped on his jacket, but, as fate would have it, when he went to retrieve the grasshopper, a large blue jay swooped down and grabbed it. He always hated birds.

He dragged himself to the kitchen to make himself breakfast, but his father had beat him to the punch. Throughout the Aburame Clan it was well known that Shibi Aburame couldn't cook. The only person who didn't seem to know was the man himself. He had taken the last of the eggs, bacon, and toast, and totally butchered it. Shino looked at the plate of toxic waste that had been placed before him, then to his father. Sighing, he figured he would just walk to Ichiraku's and get some ramen, he was short on cash today anyway.

Now, Ichiraku's Ramen Shop was on the other side of town from the Aburame Complex, and Shino was hungry, so, of course, he was grumpy. On the way there, Kiba found him.

"Hey, bugboy, want to do some training later?"

"Hn."

"O-Ok. S-Sorry, man, I didn't mean l-like that. I'll just be going."

The aura around Shino was evil, he was not in a good mood.

Hinata came up to him next.

"Hey, Sh-Shino. I was wondering, if, you know, if you would want, well, to maybe, um, do some, um, t-training later?"

"Hn."

Hinata burst into tears. "Why do y-you have to be so mean, Sh-Shino??!?" She ran off.

Shino just stopped and looked at her. Or rather, watched her disappear. _Really_. Never come between a man and his food.

He was almost there, when, wonder of wonders, Naruto came up.

"Hey, Shino!"

"Hn."

Oblivious to the dark mood the bug ninja was in, he continued to talk with him.

"Are you going to Ichiraku's too? We can go together! I'm sure you use some company."

"HN."

"Yeah, I though so too. Let's have a ramen eating contest."

"HNNN HNNNNN hn hn HNNN HN HNNNN HNNNNN!!!"

"Alright man, I get it, you're not that hungry. Oh look, we're here. Hey old man! Thirty-seven orders of miso ramen, please!"

"Hn. One bowl of vegetarian ramen, please."

"Right away, young men. Your orders will be up shortly." said Teuchi.

Shino sat in silence, eating his ramen. Not a preferred breakfast, but better than the charred remains of whatever his father had made for him. When he finished, Shino made a mental note to never, EVER, eat with Naruto again. Shino's entire left side was drenched with slobber, noodles, and the entire contents of a spilled bowl. The assistant, Ayame was her name, gave him some napkins, but they didn't help him much.

He walked down the street, grumbling about his day. He still didn't feel much better, in fact, he felt worse. His kikaichu were buzzing in an irritated way, loudly. People were parting in the street the way Moses parted the water. Apparently, when a person sounds like an angry swarm of bees, other people tend to avoid them. Shino didn't mind, he wasn't in the mood for dealing with people anyway. He made his way towards a training field to vent some of his anger.

He was almost there when all of the sudden…

"**OOF!**"

"Who are you?" Shino said.

"**Who am…I? Where am….shit. Shino, right? How the hell did I get here!? I'm not supposed to be here!**" I screamed.

"That doesn't tell me who you are. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't arrest you for trespassing in Konoha without permission." he said, looking me in the eye.

"**This must be my punishment for not saying the disclaimer. Fine! I don't own Naruto! There!**" I yelled.

"You are avoiding the question." he stated, his insects starting to swarm around his sleeves.

"**I'm the author, idiot! You can't kill me, or the whole story will end! Then you'll be stuck with less screen time on TV and stuck with doing love scenes with Kiba! Oops, wrong thing to say. I'm outta here.**" I said. I pulled a signature Acme black hole out of my pocket, threw it on the ground, and disappeared in it right as Shino growled and attacked me.

**(A/N phew, that was close. That's what I get for playing with chakra handsigns!)**

Shino looked at the spot where the girl disappeared, and shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't his problem. He continued his way to the training grounds. He was silently fuming now. No way his day could get any worse.

When he reached the training grounds, it suddenly did.

He saw Sasuke standing before him.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Orochimaru?" Shino asked.

Sasuke just smirked and whipped out his katana, aiming for Shino.

The specialized sword struck home in the unsuspecting ninja's heart. Sasuke did not know much about the Aburame, but knew enough to know he wouldn't be defeated that easily. His suspicions were confirmed when the bug ninja melted into insects. What he did not expect, however, was the wad if insects to swarm his body, sucking him dry.

The real Shino stepped out from behind a tree. "Well, If I had known you were this easy to defeat," he said to the lifeless body, "I would have gone myself instead of letting Naruto fight you."

He sighed, he wasn't in the mood for one more distraction. Simply put, Shino was pissed off, and the world was against him today.

_CRUNCH_

"DAMMIT!!!!" yelled Shino; he had just stepped on a rare species of beetle and killed it. He leaned down and picked it up, digging a hole a burying it.

"Sssssssssssssssssssssshino Aburame……." a voice hissed from nearby.

_It couldn't be_… Shino thought to himself.

A figure stepped out from behind the trees.

"Oh _HELL_ no!" Shino yelled, but regained his composure. Orochimaru was asking for it, he really was. Shino was not in the mood for whatever the snake idiot had in mind.

"I will kill you, Aburame. You killed my vessel." Orochimaru said menacingly.

Shino came up with the only plan he could think of to deal with this pedophile. He was glad he was the only one around, and that he was about to kill this idiot for screwing up his day even worse than it already was. Shino unzipped his jacket slightly and took off his glasses, setting them by the grave of the aforementioned beetle. _I'm going to hell for this_, Shino thought to himself.

"Hey Snakey-baby. Come on over here and give me some lovin'." _There. That ought to throw his guard_. Shino swayed his hips and walked towards the Sannin. Orochimaru's eye twitched.

"Whaa?" _Yes. Real intelligent. I feel like an idiot._

"Come on, I'm waiting for you, baby." Shino used his sexiest voice, and it seemed to be working. He sent a steady stream of insects towards the startled snake nin. **(1)**

Smiling, he cleared the distance between him and Orochimaru. _Time to die,_ Shino thought to himself. He stood in front of the other man and wrapped his leg around him. He brought his face close to the white skinned face of the other.

"I hope you like this," Shino whispered. He knew his insects had reached the target and were draining Orochimaru's chakra at a staggering rate.

Orochimaru looked into the eyes of the bug nin. He smiled, this was better than taking him by force. He closed his eyes and awaited the kiss.

Shino smiled. Now that his eyes were closed, this would work. With his free hand, he took a kunai from it's holster. He leaned back, then, with all his might, struck Orochimaru in the head with his own, slicing the white forehead open with the ridge of his metal head band. This sent Orochimaru flying through the air. With out even pausing, he flung the kunai right after the man without aiming. Unfortunately for Orochimaru, his position in the air plus kunai right behind him meant that a certain part of the male anatomy got severed. The scream was heard resonating throughout the forest.

Shine re-zipped his jacket, and retrieved his glasses, and went home. Safest place to be today.

"Shino!" he heard his father call. "Dinner!"

END

**(1) Alternate ending**

Shino heard whistling, but he dismissed it as a bird's. He continued to flaunt about in front of the snake ninja, closing the gap between them.

"Come on baby, show me what you got." Shino said, right in front of him.

Orochimaru sweat dropped, and backed up.

"H-hey, man…"

"Don't you want me, baby?" He said suggestively, also sweat dropping, his plan was backfiring.

"Um, Sh-Shino?!" Orochimaru said, losing the creepiness in his voice, and the whistles get louder.

Shino wavered, this wasn't working. Oh well. He coiled back his arm and unleashed a chakra-laced punch, sending the snake-nin soaring across the clearing. Shino heard gasps coming from around the trees.

"What the hell…?" he said to himself.

He heard catcalls, and the blood drained from his face. "Orochimaru" disappeared in a puff of smoke to reveal…Kiba!? He was laughing before he even hit the ground.

Shino glanced back to where Sasuke's corpse lie. Instead of a body, a kikai-chewed log lay in his wake. All around him, laughing shinobi rained down from the trees. He bolted, grabbing his glasses and heading home. No way his day could get worse. No way ANYONE would let him live this down.

When he got home, he slammed the door behind him and leaned back against it, panting heavily. His father peered around the corner of the hall at him.

"Shino, dinner's ready."

**Review, please! Lol we all know Shibi can't cook.**

**Also, Shino was playing Orochimaru's weak spot, he's not gay. Right now he's in the emo corner with Sasuke for this inciddent.  
**


End file.
